a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
