Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
