office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
