Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
