Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And then my night got REAL pukey
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
