maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
