just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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