he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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