plz talk dirty to me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize