I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i came on her dog
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
