oh god the rape fog is back!
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
