I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
