He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
