She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hippo gnu deer
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
