you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
