sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
