she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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