So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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