tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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