Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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