The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
