your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We got so high we made milksteak
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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