I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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