What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
