As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
