god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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