God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
