To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
So much rum. So many feels.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
