so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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