my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
