My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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