she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
