Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
