I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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