i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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