He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
she peed on how many people?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
