hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
