not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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