You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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