Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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