What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
