Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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