the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
