don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize