he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
