summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize