Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
