i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
