Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
