did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
