i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
