I wish life had little blips of pornography
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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