the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
