I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
high people should be assigned attendants
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
