And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize