"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
